aprilis elseje

in order to escape dealing with the reality of life.

I wish I had been able to continue crying. Besides its practical result of helping me get rid if the congestion, it's also......... oh, why cannot I even understand myself? Is it such a big thing to ask?

or maybe, the real problem is that I do understand what's going on and that freak me



out??

in this past one hour I came to the realization of the meaning of my notes and scribbling. life ios tough - and isn't it amazing to see the difference between living consciously and knowing IT or just living? i mean, take the image of you being a perpetual passer-by in your life? this is disturbing. or, wait, looking at yourself being a passer-by, that's disturbing.

i feel it's too much now. i don't want more revelation.

noone to call, no to call, noone calls. i see it being different around me than it is with me. why?

yes. i think why is my question so often?

i have too many languages, yet, cannot make my words speak.

when and ever - these are the two other questions.